Red Flag Warnings
by Arizona Terri
of time or resources you give others:
Gets angry if you spend "too much
time" with friends, family, or children.
Insists that it is "a bad
time" to talk to family on the phone.
Feels that resources are "wasted"
if given to children.
Gets angry if you do favors for other people or give
Would rather throw something away than give it to someone else.
disinterested in or feels threatened by your personal desires or goals:
your hobbies boring, pointless, unproductive, or a waste of time.
about attending parties or events that interest you.
Picks a fight or creates
a crisis just before an event that is important to you.
States or implies
that your interests should not interfere with spending time with them.
rude or inconsiderate of others in a self-centered way:
Insists on discussing
something with you while you are trying to read or watch television.
you to be the one who answers the door or telephone.
Expects you to drop what
you are doing when summoned.
Interrupts others while talking on a consistent
Will not act to accommodate others' convenience or comfort.
go outside to smoke.
Will not turn down TV or radio while others are talking.
Is unconcerned and unapologetic if rude behavior is pointed out.
not respect your right to make your own decisions:
Insists that your decision
"affects them" and therefore should be a "joint" decision.
Gets angry or hurt if you don't take their advice.
Criticizes or questions
the wisdom of decisions that you make without their input.
their own logic or intellect to be superior to all others:
Insists that their
way is the "right way."
Claims that their arguments are based on
logic or sound evidence and that yours are not.
Places no value on decisions
made based on feelings or intuition.
Believes that any opinion you have is
invalid, illogical, hysterical, or selfish.
Is completely intolerant of any
criticism of their own behavior.
Is confident that their employer and/or employees
are all defective somehow.
Considers your friends to be idiots.
opinionated and critical of others:
Racist or sexist.
Dogmatic about behavior
Unwilling to tolerate opinions that differ from their own.
Has double standards for behavior.
Is rude to your family.
Is chronically unemployed or changes jobs frequently.
employment setbacks as some sort of victimization.
Believes that their boss
treats them poorly.
Believes that their coworkers are working against them.
laws or social customs that interfere with their own goals or pleasure:
no point in observing holidays or giving gifts.
Is disinterested in following
family or religious customs.
Believes that people who work hard for a living
Is scornful of the government or the "system."
Uses illegal drugs.
very concerned about their public image:
Treats you better in public than
Gets angry at you if they believe that you have somehow made them
look bad to others.
Brags about you or your accomplishments to others, but
never compliments you in private.
to make you jealous or insecure:
Threatens to leave you.
Hints or states
that they have other lovers waiting on the side.
Compares you to previous
Admires strangers and compares you to them.
Tells you that no
one will ever care about you the way they do.
above is a compilation of assessments provided by a variety of victims of verbal
abuse, based on their individual experiences, so not all may apply to you and/or
an abusive person you know.
Read more on How to Free Yourself from Verbal
Melt Your Mans Heart