Verbal Abuse


Topics verbal abuse
Are You Being Abused
Abusive Relationships
Coping with Abusers
Emotional Abuse
Narcissistic Abuse

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The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize it and How to Respond

Why Does He Do That: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

The Difference Now

verbal abuse


Verbal Abuse


Abuser Red Flag Warnings
by Arizona Terri

Jealous of time or resources you give others:
Gets angry if you spend "too much time" with friends, family, or children.
Insists that it is "a bad time" to talk to family on the phone.
Feels that resources are "wasted" if given to children.
Gets angry if you do favors for other people or give them things.
Would rather throw something away than give it to someone else.

Is disinterested in or feels threatened by your personal desires or goals:
Finds your hobbies boring, pointless, unproductive, or a waste of time.
Is uncooperative about attending parties or events that interest you.
Picks a fight or creates a crisis just before an event that is important to you.
States or implies that your interests should not interfere with spending time with them.

Is rude or inconsiderate of others in a self-centered way:
Insists on discussing something with you while you are trying to read or watch television.
Expects you to be the one who answers the door or telephone.
Expects you to drop what you are doing when summoned.
Interrupts others while talking on a consistent basis.
Will not act to accommodate others' convenience or comfort.
Won't go outside to smoke.
Will not turn down TV or radio while others are talking.
Is unconcerned and unapologetic if rude behavior is pointed out.

Does not respect your right to make your own decisions:
Insists that your decision "affects them" and therefore should be a "joint" decision.
Gets angry or hurt if you don't take their advice.
Criticizes or questions the wisdom of decisions that you make without their input.

Considers their own logic or intellect to be superior to all others:
Insists that their way is the "right way."
Claims that their arguments are based on logic or sound evidence and that yours are not.
Places no value on decisions made based on feelings or intuition.
Believes that any opinion you have is invalid, illogical, hysterical, or selfish.
Is completely intolerant of any criticism of their own behavior.
Is confident that their employer and/or employees are all defective somehow.
Considers your friends to be idiots.

Extremely opinionated and critical of others:
Racist or sexist.
Dogmatic about behavior in others.
Unwilling to tolerate opinions that differ from their own.
Has double standards for behavior.
Is rude to your family.
Dislikes your family.

Has "trouble" at work:
Is chronically unemployed or changes jobs frequently.
Explains employment setbacks as some sort of victimization.
Believes that their boss treats them poorly.
Believes that their coworkers are working against them.

Disregards laws or social customs that interfere with their own goals or pleasure:
Sees no point in observing holidays or giving gifts.
Is disinterested in following family or religious customs.
Believes that people who work hard for a living are "suckers."
Is scornful of the government or the "system."
Uses illegal drugs.

Is very concerned about their public image:
Treats you better in public than in private.
Gets angry at you if they believe that you have somehow made them look bad to others.
Brags about you or your accomplishments to others, but never compliments you in private.

Attempts to make you jealous or insecure:
Threatens to leave you.
Hints or states that they have other lovers waiting on the side.
Compares you to previous lovers.
Admires strangers and compares you to them.
Tells you that no one will ever care about you the way they do.

*The above is a compilation of assessments provided by a variety of victims of verbal abuse, based on their individual experiences, so not all may apply to you and/or an abusive person you know.

Read more on How to Free Yourself from Verbal abuse:


Melt Your Mans Heart

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Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local emergency 911 or a Counselor nearby