can be tough! Two people, joined together, but sometimes feeling like enemies.
Sometimes, couples find themselves continually hurting each other, miss each others
needs, and leave each other angry, resentful, tired, empty, exhausted, and unfulfilled.
What Can I Do?
marriage can be restored, developed, nurtured, and transformed! I tell you that
as someone who sees the miracles on a daily basis. Note that I put
miracles in quotations. Miracles are thought to come out of the blue. But in the
cases I see, it is because one, the other, or both decide to do something about
it. In other words, the miracle happens because action is taken.
is a myth that it takes hard work to transform a marriage. I dont believe
that. It takes effort. It takes a change in thinking and perspective. It takes
a willingness to try something new. Mostly, it takes a belief that things can
change. It doesnt take an overwhelming belief. Just some small part that
says Things have to change. Things can change. I will participate in it.
is the opportunity you have, right now. It is an opportunity you have to be transformational
in your life, in your marriage.
could take the risk, and discover that the marriage you want is available to you,
right now and with your current spouse. It will take some effort, and it will
mean taking a risk. But, as someone who has had his life threatened, take it from
me, the risk is much smaller than you imagine!
next month is going to pass, one way or another. At the end of it, will you be
able to say I made a difference in my life, the life of my spouse, and the
life of my family? Or will the month simply pass with the same dreams and
if you are at the end of your rope, ready to give up, isnt it worth one
more shot? One more guided effort, one with direction and assistance?
often find themselves in situations where they have learned to survive, to get
by. Not happy, but getting by. That is not enough. You can learn to thrive.
You Will Learn
are some advantages to building, versus digging:
avoid low-mood therapy, and work from high-mood perspectives.
the process a far less intimidating prospect for those who are less willing to
be involved in the process. No "navel-gazing," no "how do you feel
about that?" approaches. Just simple actions building toward amazing results.
The process is, therefore, more acceptable to men in particular. Let's face
it: lots of men are dragged into therapy, and then made to feel incompetent in
the emotional arena or ganged-up on. (Not good for keeping a couple in therapy.)
A couples past becomes less important. What really matters is where
the couple wants to move toward.
Insights about the past don't often make
the leap to changes in the present/future. But gaining knowledge, skills, and
understanding does change our actions/reactions, and direction of a marriage.
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