Stopping Infidelity

Stopping Infidelity

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Stopping Infidelity

Three Steps to Stopping Infidelity- Get Yourself Together

If I had to give to you the best advice I would say follow these steps to start the process of stopping infidelity in your situations. I know I have put together a lot of material for you throughout the site but here are my basic steps I can share:


stopping infidelity1) One of the most troubling symptoms is anxiety--not knowing what to do. Get your evidence. I can still recall the anger and denial of finding a so-called " love note". I couldn't contain the rage within myself for very long. I know it is really difficult to stop the rage and anger inside that you feel but take this time to collect your evidence by making notes, making copies of the evidence, etc. Shock is a normal reaction to discovery. The discovered person often feels as confused and scared as the discoverer. Consider and reflect. Take your time and don't jump to hasty irreversible decisions.

stopping infidelity2) Don't be too shocked and embarrassed to confront your husband. Confront your partner. You know you have to - so as soon as you have your evidence do it! Let him or her know you disapprove and want it to stop. Don't wait and let it slide. If you wait this gives the other person more opportunity to take your spouse/partner from you. Timing is critical.

stopping infidelity3) No Fighting. Accusations put one on the defensive. Stay on neutral terms with your spouse/partner and communicate nicely. Stop arguing, bickering, fighting, shouting or the petty punishing techniques immediately. These techniques didn't work during your marriage and they won't work now. Stop the blaming (either yourself or them). These are the bad emotions that have come between you during your relationship. Quit it. Be pleasant, courteous and nice but not to the point of smothering. Sad and crying to your spouse isn't going to get your mate home either. If you want your spouse to end his/her affair and come home then you need to make their environment pleasant like someone they’d like to be with. Now is the time to be rational. Now is the time to work on you.

Adultery and violence is wrong and unacceptable and we will show zero tolerance for it.

Do not give your spouse time out to "find themselves" or to "wait and see" as it gives the other person time to take over/destroy your marriage. So you have to walk a very fine line there. Two climates are being created -- the person is adding to the distress of their committed relationship, and nurturing the new relationship. Don't kick your husband out if you want to work on your marriage.

Keep in mind every situation is different. Much more is on the site here. I also encourage everyone to talk about their infidelity. Part of the recovery is telling the story in order to heal. When you tell your story make sure it is with a trustworthy friend or support group. Join a infidelity support group - they are strong, true advocates with unconditional support.

Don't issue ultimatums. If you want them to go to counselling then suggest "I want you to go to therapy with me". "I really want you to go to therapy with me." If they won't go you go for your own sanity.

stopping infidelity4) Take time to reconnect with your spouse. My spouse won me back after pursuing me. I worked on myself to be the best I could be visually, mentally and health wise. He chased me with romance, by being there and won my heart back. I do not regret it! Consider my empowerment -- I had already moved out, sold the house. You can save your marriage if you want to.

stopping infidelity5) If you can get them to agree to work on your marriage there is great ebooks recommended by experienced counselors as follows:

My ebook "How to Deal with a Cheating Spouse" offers basic questions you need to have answered right now. Inexpensive click here.

Don't leave the affair to chance. Don't wait for "time to heal." Don't waste time with simplistic suggestions or vague generalities. Don't act out of desperation.
Why saying "I Love You" doesn't work - we need results. You need to see positive actions with absolutely no negative actions over a period of time.

Know in your Heart that the Affair is NOT your Fault.

stopping  infidelity

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local emergency 911 or a Counselor nearby