love triangle advice

 

Love Triangle Advice

 

love triangle adviceAskMaple - Q & A love triangle advice are you caught in a love triangle

love triangle advice


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Topics love triangle advice

Cheating Spouses
Committing Adultery
Communicating
Internet Infidelity
Jealousy
Setting Boundaries






 

Survive the Affair


love triangle advice



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Love Triangle Advice

All affairs are triangles. Are you caught up in a love triangle not sure of which way to go?
Send me your stories and we will try to help you. Here are some fast answers.


Dear Maple:I had an affair with a man I met around 3 weeks ago. He is in a relationship with a woman right now, but he says that he want to keep our "thing" going. My husband and I are on shakey ground due to him not working and complains about he is disabled but yet he drives and do just about anything he wants but WORK! I am currently employed and I have to take care of him and my 2 babies. When I decided to have the affair, I was looking for an outlet. But now I am not too sure. I know that this is a sexual thing and he told me that he don't want anyone else making love to me but him and my husband. It sounds a bit strange considering he is in a relationship himself. I dig this guy but yet I am a little confused about continuing our relationship. Help me because I am losing my mind. Tee


The Three Symptoms of Affair Withdrawal
Dr. Frank Gunzburg

When you end the affair, you might get a feeling of “withdrawal.” As I stated above, being in an affair is a lot like being addicted to a drug. This means that when you end the affair you will have to go through the uncomfortable experience of withdrawal before you can be “clean” again.

There are three major emotional symptoms of affair withdrawal: anger, anxiety, and depression. Why you might have these emotions should be fairly self-explanatory at this point.

You can expect to have intense withdrawal symptoms for about three weeks. You may continue to feel some symptoms for up to six months, but they should gradually diminish in intensity and frequency over this time period.

During this time, you are in a vulnerable position. Like an addict, you might be tempted to use your favorite drug again. You might be tempted to contact your lover again to help calm the force of your withdrawal symptoms.

Doing so is a little bit like a heroin addict in recovery who says they are “just going to do a little hit to make the pain go away.” This is clearly a terrible idea. If you do this, it is likely you will be tempted to start using again, end up back in the affair, and undo all the difficult work you have done up to this point.

Do not, I repeat, do not attempt to contact your lover. This will destroy your relationship.

Instead, reinvest in repairing your relationship. This is liable to be difficult as well, particularly if you have just informed your partner about the affair. If you are talking to your partner at all, it is likely that your communication is negative and difficult. It is unlikely that you will be getting a great deal of positive feedback from your partner at this point and this is bound to make you feel emotionally disconnected. This could worsen your withdrawal symptoms.

If you feel that you have had your needs met in this affair in a way that they haven’t been met in your relationship, there is going to be a time when you need to address those problems with your partner. That time isn’t now. I say this here to help you have hope that you can get what you need out of your relationship and not feel compelled to continue going outside it to fulfill those needs.

Remember that you are going through this painful time for a reason: you want to heal your relationship. You can look at this difficult period as a necessary step to straightening out the mess you have made of your relationship. Like an addict, there may be a period of time in which you suffer. Going through that is the first step to putting your life back on the right course.

Keep in mind that when you maintain the course of recovery through this rough period, the reward is a relationship that is better than you ever dreamed. Use the strategies you have learned up to this point to overcome your negative feelings, and hang tight in your determination to rebuild your relationship. Your efforts will pay off.

None of this will be easy. You will likely face quite a lot of emotional difficulty when you end the affair. Nonetheless, it is necessary to face this pain in order to restore your relationship.

Click Here - Surviving an Affair


Q. Dear Maple: I am a 29 year old female who I guess you could say out of loneliness and feeling of being undesired entered into an affair. I am in Washington State and he was from Vegas...... He came here the first time and since we weren't being intimate he stayed at our home. Well he ended up getting along great with my husband so since they they have become friends. I had gone to Vegas several times and him here until we finally became intimate. However horrid this sounds he has now moved into our home. It's no longer a affair but more like carrying on two relationships. My husband has no idea and everyday I wake up trying to figure out how I managed to do this. The "other man" is a sweet guy but I have more then decided I want to end it.. It's just not that simple... I have been to his families house in Vegas and his whole family knows nothing about my other life... they all think I will eventually be a part of their family, even send me birthday cards and such. They now want to come visit since there son lives here..... I just want to be done with this. I love his family after knowing them for so long... what do I do? how do I end this all????? Mel.


It’s important to realize that certain impulsive reactions from you could push your partner to leave the marriage. Don’t blast him (or her) with questions. Don’t overpower him with rage.Yes, you may feel justified to act in these ways but be careful with behaviors that could shatter your chances for marital recovery. You can shoot yourself in the foot if you do the wrong thing now. Keep your spouse from Bolting & Buy Time to Improve Your Marriage.
Click Here


Q. Dear Maple:.I have been seeing this married man for almost 1 year and his wife moved out 2 days ago and that is all he talks about. I have told him that if he wants her back to just tell her and let me go. I love him with all my heart but I do not know what to do. He says I try to be his mother since they have split up and I am not I just worry about him. So I guess what I am trying to get to is does he really want me or does he want his wife back. The pain that I put myself through is killing me. Please help me. Judy


Here's how to make the best decision possible about whether to Stay together or Go! Don't Make The Same Mistake Most People Make When They're in an Unhappy Relationship... This is not an easy decision to make and you owe it to yourself and this relationship to make absolutely sure you have all the information you need to make the best decision possible.
Stay or Go -click here


Your partner is not there to meet all your needs. If he/she says no, it doesn't mean he/she doesn't love you. Some demands may be impossible to fulfill. It is not your partner's job to make you happy. Your partner is here to teach you how to grow and share.You must learn to make yourself happy, and make others happy as well. Love is based upon communicating, consideration and giving - Read More.......


Q. Dear Maple: I need your help please I am friends with this guy. He calls me everyday we have had sex a couple times. We both married and all of us are friends and we visit one another when we can. I talk to him everyday and sometimes on the phone he seems like he wants to tell me something, there are times he seems sad and depressed. I have tried a few times to try to get him to open up too me and tell me what's wrong or why he so sad but he denies it and acts like nothing wrong with him. I can tell he's covering it up. I would really like to help him out and get him to talk instead of holding his feelings inside. What could be wrong with him, is he sad cause we both married and he wants to be with me or cause he's unhappy with his marriage and seem to cant leave it. How can I get him to talk let me know we already keeping our little sex life a secret from everyone. I'm sure it won't hurt him to talk to me let me know what he feeing. I just wish he would say I love you and want to be with you or I hate you and don't think we should be friends anymore. Him saying that and letting me know would help me out a lot. The problem is I don't know how to find out what he really thinking. Please help me and let me know what to do. Thank you so much, Kristal.


Q. Dear Maple: I became friends with this girl 2 years ago when I had a girlfriend too but I wasn't living at home during that time. My friend and I became close and ended up taking things further like sex. I have moved back home and married my girlfriend and now I'm finding my self wanting to be close to my friend that I left behind in another state. I call her more than I do my own wife - I can't get her out of my head and can't stop thinking about her I even find myself wanting to be with her and have sex with her again. What can I do and why am I having these feelings towards her and not my wife. Please help me. Lance

Have a good read on this page Relationship-Triangles and you can see how complex these issues are.


 

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local emergency 911 or a Counselor.