affair may be the cause of drifting apart, but drifting apart may result in an
of people are drawn to the internet by way of learning, knowledge, fun, technology,
buying, selling, fun, human Interaction or plain trying to earn a living.
One reason is human interaction found in chat rooms, dating, gambling & online
rooms are autonomous and very deceiving.
You can become anyone or anything
you desire, without fear of reprisal.
All you have to do is choose a name
and start chatting.
You might be a very truth full person, but are the once
answering you of the same mindset?
Every day we hear of horror stories of
young children being deceived or abused by someone they innocently met on the
is Internet Addiction?
Internet Addiction is a broad term covering a wide-variety of behaviors and impulse-control
problems. It is important to understand that there are five specific types of
Addiction Individuals who suffer from Cybersexual addiction typically are
either engaged in viewing, downloading, and trading online pornography or involved
in adult fantasy role-play chat rooms.
Individuals who suffer from Chat Room Addiction become over-involved in online
relationships or may engage in virtual adultery. Online friends quickly become
more important to the individual often at the expense of real life relationships
with family and friends. In many instances, this will lead to marital discord
and family instability.
Net Gaming Net gaming encompass a broad category
of behaviors including obsessive online gambling, gaming, shopping, or stock trading
behaviors. In particular, individuals will utilize virtual casinos, interactive
games, e-auction houses, or e-brokerage houses only to loose excessive amounts
of money and even disrupt other job-related duties or significant relationships.
Information Overload The wealth of data available on the World Wide
Web has created a new type of compulsive behavior regarding excessive web surfing
and database searches. Individuals will spend greater amounts of time searching
and collecting data from the web and organizing information. Obsessive compulsive
tendencies and reduced work productivity are typically associated with this behavior.
Computer Addiction In the 80s, computer games such as Solitaire and
Minesweeper were programmed into computers and researchers found that obsessive
computer game playing became problematic in organizational settings as employees
spent most days playing rather than working. These games are not interactive nor
Read more of Internet
Addiction Problems and
what you can do about the situation.
Addiction Triggers by
Archibald Hart, Ph.D.
two major drives that underlie the addictive process, excitement seeking and tension
reduction, are often set off by a particular starting stimulus. We
can call this the trigger mechanism for the addiction. It is the emotion
or occurrence that starts a given cycle of addictive behavior.
imagine that Dave, a fictitious salesman, is generally bored with his job, but
he loves to ski. Skiing is the only source of real excitement in Daves life;
he lives for the snow slopes and dreams about nothing else. Clearly he is an addict
because he neglects every other aspect of his life.
say it is Friday morning. Dave usually spends Fridays in the office writing up
orders and processing his paperwork. This is a part of his job he particularly
hates. Every form, letter, and purchase order is like poison to him; he even dislikes
checks his watch. Nine-thirty in the morning. Still six and a half hours to go
before quitting time. He tries to concentrate, but the dull routine of his job
acts as a stimulus for his addictive need. Boredom is the trigger for his addiction
craving. He wants to be on the mountain. He wants to feel the cold chill of the
wind and hear the swish of the skis. He checks his watch again. Only 9:50. The
more bored Dave becomes, the more he craves his skiing fix. Its going to
be a long day!
mechanisms like Daves boredom begin the addictive craving for a given cycle
of need. They differ from person to person and from addictive behavior to addictive
behavior. Often the roots of these trigger mechanisms can be traced to experiences
we disliked as a child. Here are some common triggers:
-isolation -boredom -
depression -crises -sense of failure -
needs -criticism -selfish needs
The last of the above list, selfish needs, is a major trigger for many
addictions. Technically known as polarized narcissism, it is usually
found in people who have suffered from early life disruption or damage and whose
nurturance and dependency needs have not been met. Such people often develop a
deep desire for instant gratification. They know where, when, and how they want
it, and they want it now! For instance, they demand instant and excessive affirmation
for even small attempts at work or in relationships. The needs of others never
enter the picture. They are focused only on their own needs.
are many other possible triggers for addictive behavior. In fact, anything that
threatens failure, rejection, or abandonment can become a stimulus for an addiction
cycle. Add to this the personality traits of passivity, under-assertiveness, or
dependency, and you have a powerful set of addictive triggers.
Excerpted from Healing Lifes
Hidden Addictions by Dr. Archibald Hart, published by Servant Publications, Healing
life's hidden addictions: Overcoming the closet compulsions that waste your time
and control your life
Melt Your Mans Heart
Tips for Real-Time Quality Living
off the computer.
use the internet when you are bored. Use the internet only when you have to for
banking or school work, etc.
Plan a family week of just reading, sports, exercise, biking, hiking, simple walks,
being outdoors or watching a good movie together.
This includes your
children's time on the internet. Don't use the internet as a baby-sitter. If your
children are addicted to games get them off the computer.
Now is the
time to change. If you make no changes in your life, time will continue to pass.
Make small changes in how you expend your free time. The purpose of this is to
beat the repetitious cycle of the behavior.
you have personal problems, try your best to face them and take action. If you
are stressed out from work, perhaps it is time to get a new and better job. Do
not fear change, embrace it. We need to move forward in life, not beat ourselves
off the Net!!!!!!!!!
is often a symptom of a couple drifting apart. Divorce is easier for couples who
drift apart, compared with infidelity, as there is no feeling of betrayal or rejection.
Divorce is also far more accepted nowadays by society. A man who trades in a wife
for a younger woman wont get pilloried today by his community or church,