Do Spiritual People Handle Betrayal
Do Spiritual People Handle Betrayal?
by Myriam Maytorena, M.Ed. author of Spirituality:
chooses to walk a conscious spiritual path, he or she often assumes that all people
in the so-called spiritual community are going to act ethically and morally. It
can come as a rude awakening when someone respected as an expression of the divine
acts in ways that are hurtful, deceptive or just plain thoughtless. When folks
wander out of the spiritual community into the mundane world, spiritual people
also tend to have a higher level of trust, which can often leave them more vulnerable.
In a world where many may not adhere to the highest spiritual tenets, those who
do are sometimes are at greater risk to be taken advantage of or hurt. How will
spiritual people act in situations of betrayal or hurtful issues? They will act
normally. They will feel violated, used, hurt, saddened, angry and so forth. Just
because someone is traveling a spiritual path does not mean that he or she doesn't
have these natural reactions to something that is hurtful. Sometimes when we feel
angry, we will castigate ourselves because we are not being as "good"
as we think we should. Even before we can get to the state of forgiving those
who have wronged us, we need too first forgive ourselves for being normal, or
perhaps for not acting as spiritually as we expect ourselves to. Guilt will not
help in any situation when we're seeking to live a spiritual life. While many
of us have been brought up in religious communities that promote the use of guilt
and fear to maintain the status quo, a truly spiritual person will use negative
events or thoughts to prompt positive growth and to evolve on the spiral of spiritual
expression. A really wonderful teacher (I am sorry I cannot remember exactly which
one because I have had so many) once told me, "To turn a negative event into
a positive expression ask this question: What good can come from this?" So
the first step in forgiving self and forgiving others is to look at an issue from
many different sides. Try to get into the mind of the person(s) who perpetuated
this issue and ask yourself: What prompted this person to act this way? What was
their motivation and how did they see themselves receiving something that they
needed by their actions? If you have trouble seeing the possibilities, discuss
it with a confidante you can trust to keep it confidential. Look for feedback
that is honest as opposed to hearing what you want to hear.
most important thing that you need to discover in the healing process of forgiveness
is to learn intent. If the individual purposely tried to do what you consider
wrong and you know they knew it was wrong or illegal, that is one
If they thought that what they were doing was not wrong and they were not trying
purposely to hurt you, this is a totally different issue. Please note this warning:
usually a person will have shown a pattern of small hurts or negative behavior,
so you have to ask yourself if you set yourself up for the big one. Also, reflect
upon your response and dig deep to find the buttons being pushed by the event
or issue that has caused you pain. You might find you were hurt because you needed
to learn a lesson, and I think in all strongly emotional events (both positive
and negative) this is a constant factor. Remember, the spiritual individual will
grow stronger by learning to think clearly and learn from experience over a lifetime.
For me, choosing to allow myself to be vulnerable requires that I develop a greater
sense of detachment and observation of my reactions to the world around me. Meditation
is probably our most positive tool in seeking enlightenment. In fact, I think
that one of the reasons I get angry with myself when I react with normal emotions
is because it reveals that I have lost my spiritual detachment. When you have
worked your way around how you feel and the whys and so forth of a hurtful event,
you are ready to begin the healing process. Sometimes you may think you have it
clearly figured out, only to have something deeper pop up from your unconscious
or the cosmic mind. Be gentle with YOURSELF, and be gentle with the other person.
Some people such as counselors may suggest that we need to confront the person
who creates pain for us, but I do not necessarily think that is true. I think
that we can work on a spiritual or psychic level and have the same healing effect.
Confrontation is usually just a vehicle to perpetuate more angry or hurtful behaviors.
The person that you confront is not going to think he or she did anything wrong,
or if he or she does, it will be normal to become defensive. It will work just
as well for you to write out a letter stating what happened, how it made you feel,
and that you now release the negativity and transmute it to good. Then burn the
letter and release it to the universal mind.
can use this technique to heal old hurts if the person is no longer available,
or perhaps has passed over. If this does not work at first, you can do it again,
and before you burn the letter, you can visualize that you are severing the psychic
cords or energy threads that have kept you connected to this toxic experience.
Melt Your Mans Heart
by Tess Marshall.
Tess Marshall is a licensed psychologist with a master's degree in counseling
psychology and specialty in addictions, Kick
Porn: Spiritual Power Practices For A New Life
we cannot be happy in spite of our difficulties, what good is our spiritual practice."
found a website called "A thousand things went right today."
that! Did you ever consider how many things go right in your life? Everyday?
times you miss what goes "right" because you are so focused on what's
wrong. It's not just you, it's everyone. It's human nature.
your list look like? I decided to make a list of my own. I got to 48 and couldn't
think of any more things that went right yesterday.
I thought yesterday was a bad day. So if 48 things can go right on a bad day imagine
what goes right on a good day!
are a few examples on my list
(this is to get you started on your own):
alarm went off.
My coffee tasted great in my brand new coffee maker.
my gas tank yesterday and washed my car.
I called a friend and asked for help.
I met some new clients yesterday for work and they all seemed so
I sold ebooks yesterday.
is a new exercise: When you've had a bad day right down everything that has gone
right anyway. What you focus on expands. You will be surprised to see how blessed
you truly are!
counting what is right in your life a spiritual practice and stay happy!
Please note: The suggestions
and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in
the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or
someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact
your local emergency 911 or a Counselor nearby.