How do Spiritual People Handle Betrayal
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How Do Spiritual People Handle Betrayal

How Do Spiritual People Handle Betrayal?
by Myriam Maytorena, M.Ed. author of Spirituality: True Odysseys

When someone chooses to walk a conscious spiritual path, he or she often assumes that all people in the so-called spiritual community are going to act ethically and morally. It can come as a rude awakening when someone respected as an expression of the divine acts in ways that are hurtful, deceptive or just plain thoughtless. When folks wander out of the spiritual community into the mundane world, spiritual people also tend to have a higher level of trust, which can often leave them more vulnerable. In a world where many may not adhere to the highest spiritual tenets, those who do are sometimes are at greater risk to be taken advantage of or hurt. How will spiritual people act in situations of betrayal or hurtful issues? They will act normally. They will feel violated, used, hurt, saddened, angry and so forth. Just because someone is traveling a spiritual path does not mean that he or she doesn't have these natural reactions to something that is hurtful. Sometimes when we feel angry, we will castigate ourselves because we are not being as "good" as we think we should. Even before we can get to the state of forgiving those who have wronged us, we need too first forgive ourselves for being normal, or perhaps for not acting as spiritually as we expect ourselves to. Guilt will not help in any situation when we're seeking to live a spiritual life. While many of us have been brought up in religious communities that promote the use of guilt and fear to maintain the status quo, a truly spiritual person will use negative events or thoughts to prompt positive growth and to evolve on the spiral of spiritual expression. A really wonderful teacher (I am sorry I cannot remember exactly which one because I have had so many) once told me, "To turn a negative event into a positive expression ask this question: What good can come from this?" So the first step in forgiving self and forgiving others is to look at an issue from many different sides. Try to get into the mind of the person(s) who perpetuated this issue and ask yourself: What prompted this person to act this way? What was their motivation and how did they see themselves receiving something that they needed by their actions? If you have trouble seeing the possibilities, discuss it with a confidante you can trust to keep it confidential. Look for feedback that is honest as opposed to hearing what you want to hear.

The most important thing that you need to discover in the healing process of forgiveness is to learn intent. If the individual purposely tried to do what you consider wrong and you know they knew it was wrong or illegal, that is one
issue. If they thought that what they were doing was not wrong and they were not trying purposely to hurt you, this is a totally different issue. Please note this warning: usually a person will have shown a pattern of small hurts or negative behavior, so you have to ask yourself if you set yourself up for the big one. Also, reflect upon your response and dig deep to find the buttons being pushed by the event or issue that has caused you pain. You might find you were hurt because you needed to learn a lesson, and I think in all strongly emotional events (both positive and negative) this is a constant factor. Remember, the spiritual individual will grow stronger by learning to think clearly and learn from experience over a lifetime. For me, choosing to allow myself to be vulnerable requires that I develop a greater sense of detachment and observation of my reactions to the world around me. Meditation is probably our most positive tool in seeking enlightenment. In fact, I think that one of the reasons I get angry with myself when I react with normal emotions is because it reveals that I have lost my spiritual detachment. When you have worked your way around how you feel and the whys and so forth of a hurtful event, you are ready to begin the healing process. Sometimes you may think you have it clearly figured out, only to have something deeper pop up from your unconscious or the cosmic mind. Be gentle with YOURSELF, and be gentle with the other person. Some people such as counselors may suggest that we need to confront the person who creates pain for us, but I do not necessarily think that is true. I think that we can work on a spiritual or psychic level and have the same healing effect. Confrontation is usually just a vehicle to perpetuate more angry or hurtful behaviors. The person that you confront is not going to think he or she did anything wrong, or if he or she does, it will be normal to become defensive. It will work just as well for you to write out a letter stating what happened, how it made you feel, and that you now release the negativity and transmute it to good. Then burn the letter and release it to the universal mind.

You can use this technique to heal old hurts if the person is no longer available, or perhaps has passed over. If this does not work at first, you can do it again, and before you burn the letter, you can visualize that you are severing the psychic cords or energy threads that have kept you connected to this toxic experience.


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Whats Right Today?
by Tess Marshall. Tess Marshall is a licensed psychologist with a master's degree in counseling psychology and specialty in addictions,
Kick Porn: Spiritual Power Practices For A New Life

If we cannot be happy in spite of our difficulties, what good is our spiritual practice." -M Ghosananda

I found a website called "A thousand things went right today."
Imagine that! Did you ever consider how many things go right in your life? Everyday?

Often times you miss what goes "right" because you are so focused on what's wrong. It's not just you, it's everyone. It's human nature.

What would your list look like? I decided to make a list of my own. I got to 48 and couldn't think of any more things that went right yesterday.

And I thought yesterday was a bad day. So if 48 things can go right on a bad day imagine what goes right on a good day!

Here are a few examples on my list
(this is to get you started on your own):

My alarm went off.
My coffee tasted great in my brand new coffee maker.
I filled my gas tank yesterday and washed my car.
I called a friend and asked for help.
She said yes.
I met some new clients yesterday for work and they all seemed so happy!
I sold ebooks yesterday.

This is a new exercise: When you've had a bad day right down everything that has gone right anyway. What you focus on expands. You will be surprised to see how blessed you truly are!

Make counting what is right in your life a spiritual practice and stay happy!


Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local emergency 911 or a Counselor nearby.