husband came home from his office talking about a newly divorced female coworker
and her problems. My husband says they are just friends. I even invited her to
my house to talk about her problems woman to woman as I like helping others. They
are always going for lunch together. Now she is phoning my house and wanting to
chat with my husband all the time after work hours and on weekends. Now she is
phoning to want to talk with my children and my children even feel uncomortable
with this. I don't think my marriage is bad. Is there something wrong with my
relationship that he would enjoy/need this friendship? I'm friends with men at
work, but I know when to back off and I'm careful not to encourage anyone with
hopes of anything more than being straight office colleagues. I don't go out for
lunch with them or after work drinks. I come home to my family. What should I
do? -- LK
this story sound familiar? Where do we draw the fine line on work relationships?
Do women fear emotional infidelity more than men? Resist the desire to rescue
an unhappy soul who pours his or her heart out to you.
LK stopped this coworker fast in her tracks before she started an affair with
her husband. She exposed the affair to the boss's owner. The boss really respects
her husband as an important employee firstly, then father and their family. Infidelity
is any emotional or sexual intimacy that violates trust.
You don't have
to have sex to cheat on your marriage, counsels M. Gary Neuman in his practical
and provocative book, Emotional Infidelity. Neuman, a therapist, family mediator,
and rabbi, suggests that when you invest your emotional energy in opposite-sex
coworkers or friends--instead of focusing on your spouse--you are unfaithful to
Take a quick check: Do you send that funny e-mail to your friends at workbut
not to your spouse? Do you chew over all the problems on the job so thoroughly
with your colleagues that by the time you get home, you just dont feel like
going into it all over again? Do you get a secret thrill out of flirting with
coworkersthinking its safe because you know its not going any
further? If so, youre committing emotional infidelityand youre
draining your marriage of the energy it needs to be great.
affairs are an affair without any physical touching extramarital emotional involvement,
emotional infidelity or an emotional affair. Friendships, whether they are hatched
over the Internet or in the flesh, begin and develop quickly when someone connects
with a person who appears to be empathetic and who shares common interests. The
first transgression of an emotional infidelity is when two people share information
about problems in their primary relationship that their respective partner would
feel was a violation.
the new crisis of infidelity, platonic friendships and workplace relationships
are turning into emotional affairs, usually gradually, often without premeditation.
Parties cross boundaries of emotional intimacy, sharing intimate information with
a friend that is usually appropriately the exclusive territory of a husband or
wife. When emotional boundaries are overstepped, the partner has taken the first
step onto the slippery slope leading to emotional and eventually sexual infidelity.
Even if the infidelity is "only" emotional, it often leads to a double
life of deception and sexuality, threatening once secure marriages.
following ten rules of avoiding potentially damaging relationships with members
of the opposite sex from Emotional Infidelity.
Rule 1: Keep It All Business at the Office
Rule 2: Avoid Meetings with Members
of the Opposite Sex Outside of the Workplace
Rule 3: Meet in Groups
4: Find Polite Ways of Ending Personal Conversations
Rule 5: Avoid Consistency
in the Relationship
Rule 6: Dont Share Your Personal Feelings
7: Be Unflinchingly Honest with Yourself
Rule 8: Avoid Cordial Kisses and
Hugs, or Dancing with Members of the Opposite Sex
Rule 9: Dont Drink
Around the Opposite Sex
Rule 10: Show Your Commitment to Your Spouse Daily
last rule I would add is keep work professional. Woman shouldn't dress inappropriately.
My one victim of infidelity even said the counselor she was seeing was wearing
a short short skirt! Can you imagine?
your spouse doesn't approve of you being friends with the opposite sex listen
and respect them. They are not wrong. Some of these rules may unassumingly sound
extreme but even one kiss or emails comes a certain intimacy.
emotional affair can be as damaging as a sexual affair, because an emotional connection
is what people really want. Emotional intimacy is when you go outside of that
bond created by marriage to someone else, either for sexual, personal or spiritual
gratification. This is where its wrong to tell your problems to the opposite sex
friend. If you need help go to a professional counselor. If you want to know more
write to me today.
Melt Your Mans Heart
from An Expert
KEY Tactic to Save the Marriage - What can you specifically do to increase
the odds of saving the marriage?
often the offended spouse reacts with intense feelings and pulls out all stops
to win her back. He applies pressure. Begs. Cajoles. Makes promises,
etc. It doesnt work.Why? Well, for one reason she has found all the stimulation
and excitement she supposedly needs in her new found love. If you
bombard her/him with your neediness, you are certainly not the person who can
help her in ways she really seeks.
a tactic that helps solve the dilemma and gives you a greater chance of saving
the marriage.Its called back off! Stop pressing. Slow down the
pace. Be silent most of the time. Stop making requests. Stop asking questions.
Stop trying to wiggle out some assurance. Stop being a pain! read more - click
Please note: The suggestions
and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in
the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or
someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact
your local emergency 911 or a Counselor nearby