to Communicate with Your Spouse
effectively takes practice and a great deal of effort. Without communication,
it is nearly impossible to resolve conflicts or grow your partnership. Whether
you are in a troubled marriage, simply seeing the value of a "tune-up",
or seeking marriage help, here are some useful tips for communicating effectively
within a marriage.
that no one "wins" an argument. If you don't leave a discussion with
a possible solution to the problem, then neither party has been successful.
Compromise is an essential tool to solving problems through communication. Before
bringing up a problem, make sure you have thought of ways that you can help solve
it by mutual compromise.
Try to be positive when bringing up sensitive marital problems. Instead of jumping
right into a discussion, open by acknowledging that every partnership could be
improved and you'd like to take some time and discuss the things that are working
in your relationship and the areas that could use improvement. It helps to start
by talking about positive things and then moving into the deeper discussion on
Be a "reflective" listener and make sure you understand what your partner
has said. "What I hear you saying is..." is a great way to make sure
the proper message has been received.
Feel free to use the "time out" card if the discussion gets too intense.
If an argument gets heated and irrational, it is better to postpone the discussion
to a time and place where effective communication can happen.
Make sure your body language, facial expressions and vocal tone are in line with
Be honest, direct and focus on the real issue. If you enter a conversation insecure
about making your point -- you probably won't make it.
If you can't come up with a definitive solution, at least try to end the conversation
on a positive note like "I think it's good we've both shared our feelings
and we'll continue to talk about it and try to come up with a better solution."
Don't ever be rude or talk down to your partner in a discussion about your relationship.
Don't dismiss an idea or thought as absurd, but instead listen to your partner's
point and then react with the reasons you disagree in a respectful manner.
Stay on track. If you sit down to talk about a financial problem and suddenly
other emotional issues are coming up, realize that you may need to focus on one
area at a time in order to create solutions instead of mere bickering.
Recognize when you need outside help to communicate effectively. A counselor or
marriage retreat may help solve what seems to be an impossible communication problem.
American Association of Matrimonial Lawyers
Now is the time you need
to start to journalize, write down all the issues you feel you need to deal with.
You can then rehearse how you will talk to your husband calmly. Practise...take
your time. You don't have to do this immediately. As you go through this web site
write down all the important issues you want to talk about with your partner or
better yet join a support group where you can bring the issues into the open.
is the most vital parts of your relationship with your loved one. I also want
you to read about communicating with
Here is a really great article:
Intentional Dialogue: A Process for Dissolving Conflict.
from the Heart
Amazing Formula for Communicating straight from the Heart in your relationships.
This communication ebook gives you the secrets that will help you eliminate conflict,
drama and frustration and shows you how to dramatically improve your communication
so you can have the love, connection, fun, passion, joy and peace you want in
your relationships and life.
is one of the most important elements in your marriage so learn how to effectively
communicate. Check out this Wondrous Ebook today - click
firmly believe almost every relationship has communication problems or challenges
of one kind or another.
to manage conflicts, even if only You want to work on them - click
Most of the conversations that people have in relationships that fail,
consist of reacting automatically to each other and pushing each other's
buttons. You can predict which couple will end up divorcing, by the kind
of disputes they have in the first three months of marriage!
frustration builds up, we dont know better than to escalate by being angry,
oppositional and violent. WE WANT TO BE RIGHT! But, demanding, challenging and
requesting that the other changes first, is a dead end.